Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
