I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
