I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
