I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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