i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
