oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
