So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
