I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
