he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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