You made me cry and you don't even care
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
