I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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