I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
