I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
