the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
