He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
