I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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