i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my poor anus
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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