Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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