am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
