420 ftw
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
