you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
