Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
