tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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