before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
