i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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