Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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