Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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