too bad you live with your parents still
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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