We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
