TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize