I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
