He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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