why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
