But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
