So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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