So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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