Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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