Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize