Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
is this the sara with the beer cane?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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