The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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