Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
