i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
