and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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