Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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