I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
