the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
