So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
