So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
