Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
