I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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