you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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