Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
