Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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