I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you had me at cake vodka
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
