Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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