You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
