Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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