Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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