I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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