shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
