Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
