Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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