im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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