it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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