Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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