But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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