You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize