my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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