obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
