you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
