The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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